S.V.O.K.

The last few days have been strange, almost. A new but familiar sadness overwhelmed me, making me question over and over again who I am and who I want to be; tugging at my heart and draining my smile of meaning. I feel judging eyes all over me, watching ever move and motion I make, whispering to each other how terrible I really am..
Tied with stress and nostalgia, loneliness overcame me and brewed my emotions. Tears burned in my eyes in the middle of classes, even when joking and laughing with my friends. Never spilling over, but always there. Crying is like medicine, but something that inhibits me from this medicine resides inside me, and single tears do not heal. The genuine smiles of those close to me and their chiming laughter, however, could set straight my senses for a short time, until this demon inside of me drew my eyes to stare into nothingness once more. Then, alone in my warm cottony castle, armored by soft sheets and safe from the judging eyes would I lay with a pocket watch; its gentle ticking calming my soul and putting my mind to rest until the next morning in which I would awake
...and hate myself all over again.

..."I'm so sorry."
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